Relationships: Harmful Attachment
Why should we be attached to another person?
The reason why the romantic love relationships are so strong, so intense and always in demand is the fact that they appear bearing exemption from deeply hidden in the human feelings of fear, need, deficiency and inferiority, which are part of human existence in its uncoated form and unrealized . In addition, there are physical and psychological aspects of this condition.
On the physical plane, clearly you are piecemeal, and never will be internally consistent: for you are either a man or a woman, and this, as they say, half of the whole. In this regard, the desire for integrity, a return to unity, manifested in the form of sexual attraction - a man want a woman, a woman - a man. It's almost irresistible desire to reunite with the opposite energy polarity. The root of this physical attraction - the spiritual: a strong desire to put an end to duality and return to a state of integrity. Sexual contact allows you to closest approach to this state on the physical plane. That is why it is the strongest sense, which only can give us the physical reality. But sexual intercourse is no more than a fleeting glimpse of integrity, a moment of bliss. Because it is unconsciously perceived as a means of salvation, it turns out that the end of this duality, you start looking at the world of forms, that is, where it can not be found. You have granted a tantalizing, exciting, fleeting glimpse of thee for a moment shows a paradise, but to dwell in it are not permitted, and in addition to all this, you will again notice that resides in a separate body.
In psychological terms a sense of inadequacy and inferiority is even something much more than the physical. Because you identify yourself with reason, that feeling you get yourself outside. Indeed, a sense of who you are, what you get is the fact that, ultimately, does not have any relation to you: that is, from their social role, marital property, appearance, successes and failures of the system of religion and etc. This false self or ego, created by the mind, feels vulnerable, endangered, and always prowling in search of something new, identification with what will allow him to feel that it exists. But in order to ensure his long existence, always something missing, and nothing and is never enough. Therefore, his fear never disappears, his sense of failure and needs always.
And now there are these special relationships. It creates the impression that they bring with them a solution to all problems of ego and meet all his needs. At least so it seems at first. Everything else, from which you removed the first of its sense of itself, now becomes relatively unimportant. Now you have a single focus of attention, which supersedes all others, gives meaning to your life, and through which you find his identity: personality, which you are "in love". Now you are no longer an isolated fragment of indifferent universe, or is at least so you think. Now is the center of your world: only adored. And the fact that this center is located outside, and for that reason you have an existing sense of self is still continues to flow from the outside, at first did not seem to have meaning. Important is that lying under all these feelings of inadequacy, fear, failure and lack of implementation, so characteristic of the selfish state is no longer - or do they have? Surely they were dissolved, or still exist below the plane happy reality?
If you experience their relationship and "love" and its opposite, that is, attacks, emotional abuse, etc., it seems that you have mistaken for love and affection of the ego its physical dependence. You can not love your partner, and the next moment to attack him or her. True love has no opposites. If your "love" is opposed, then it is not love but a strong need for ego in a more complete and deeper sense of yourself, it's your needs that other people just always satisfies. This replaces the release of the ego, and for some very short time it really seemed almost like a liberation.
But there comes a time when your partner begins to behave in a way that does not meet your needs or, more precisely, the needs of your ego. Feelings of pain, fear and emptiness, are integral parts of egoistic consciousness, but until recently covered "love relationships", once again emerge on the surface. Just as with the drug, while there is a drug, you're on top, but inevitably there comes a time when the drug ceases to act on you. And when the painful feelings come back, you begin to experience them more acutely than before, and even more so, now you perceive your partner as the cause of these feelings. This means that you proetsiruesh them outward and attack him with all the cruelty that has become part of your pain. This attack may awaken their own pain of your partner and he or she can give you a date. At this point, the ego still unconsciously hoping that its attack or its attempts to manipulate would be punishment enough for your partner, may prompt them to change their behavior so that it again could use them as cover for his pain.
Any attachment stems from the subconscious refusal to meet publicly with their own pain and go through it. Any attachment with the pain and the pain begins and ends. What would you have felt any affection - to alcohol, food, permitted or prohibited drugs, or a man - you use it is something and that someone else in order to cover up their pain. That is why after the initial euphoria is an intimate relationship, in which there is so much misery and so much pain. By themselves, these relationships are not the cause of pain and unhappiness. They dragged out the pain and the misery that is already in you. Similarly, the effect any other attachment. Any attachment inevitably comes to the point where it no longer has no effect on you, and then you feel his pain much more acutely than ever before.
This is one reason why most people avoid at all times now and try to find at least some salvation in the future. The first thing they might encounter, they will focus their attention on the present moment, would be their own pain, but this is exactly what they fear most. If they only knew how easy staying in the moment now, to gain access to the power of presence, which would dissolve the past with all its pain, as well as to the reality, which will dispel the illusion. If they only knew how they are close to their own reality as they are close to God.
Avoidance of relationships in order to avoid the pain - also not an option. The pain is in any case. Three failures in the relationship for the same years were more likely to push you to the awakening than three years on a desert island or three years he spent locked up. However, If you can make a rich presence in her loneliness, then for you it too will begin to work.
Why should we be attached to another person?
The reason why the romantic love relationships are so strong, so intense and always in demand is the fact that they appear bearing exemption from deeply hidden in the human feelings of fear, need, deficiency and inferiority, which are part of human existence in its uncoated form and unrealized . In addition, there are physical and psychological aspects of this condition.
On the physical plane, clearly you are piecemeal, and never will be internally consistent: for you are either a man or a woman, and this, as they say, half of the whole. In this regard, the desire for integrity, a return to unity, manifested in the form of sexual attraction - a man want a woman, a woman - a man. It's almost irresistible desire to reunite with the opposite energy polarity. The root of this physical attraction - the spiritual: a strong desire to put an end to duality and return to a state of integrity. Sexual contact allows you to closest approach to this state on the physical plane. That is why it is the strongest sense, which only can give us the physical reality. But sexual intercourse is no more than a fleeting glimpse of integrity, a moment of bliss. Because it is unconsciously perceived as a means of salvation, it turns out that the end of this duality, you start looking at the world of forms, that is, where it can not be found. You have granted a tantalizing, exciting, fleeting glimpse of thee for a moment shows a paradise, but to dwell in it are not permitted, and in addition to all this, you will again notice that resides in a separate body.
In psychological terms a sense of inadequacy and inferiority is even something much more than the physical. Because you identify yourself with reason, that feeling you get yourself outside. Indeed, a sense of who you are, what you get is the fact that, ultimately, does not have any relation to you: that is, from their social role, marital property, appearance, successes and failures of the system of religion and etc. This false self or ego, created by the mind, feels vulnerable, endangered, and always prowling in search of something new, identification with what will allow him to feel that it exists. But in order to ensure his long existence, always something missing, and nothing and is never enough. Therefore, his fear never disappears, his sense of failure and needs always.
And now there are these special relationships. It creates the impression that they bring with them a solution to all problems of ego and meet all his needs. At least so it seems at first. Everything else, from which you removed the first of its sense of itself, now becomes relatively unimportant. Now you have a single focus of attention, which supersedes all others, gives meaning to your life, and through which you find his identity: personality, which you are "in love". Now you are no longer an isolated fragment of indifferent universe, or is at least so you think. Now is the center of your world: only adored. And the fact that this center is located outside, and for that reason you have an existing sense of self is still continues to flow from the outside, at first did not seem to have meaning. Important is that lying under all these feelings of inadequacy, fear, failure and lack of implementation, so characteristic of the selfish state is no longer - or do they have? Surely they were dissolved, or still exist below the plane happy reality?
If you experience their relationship and "love" and its opposite, that is, attacks, emotional abuse, etc., it seems that you have mistaken for love and affection of the ego its physical dependence. You can not love your partner, and the next moment to attack him or her. True love has no opposites. If your "love" is opposed, then it is not love but a strong need for ego in a more complete and deeper sense of yourself, it's your needs that other people just always satisfies. This replaces the release of the ego, and for some very short time it really seemed almost like a liberation.
But there comes a time when your partner begins to behave in a way that does not meet your needs or, more precisely, the needs of your ego. Feelings of pain, fear and emptiness, are integral parts of egoistic consciousness, but until recently covered "love relationships", once again emerge on the surface. Just as with the drug, while there is a drug, you're on top, but inevitably there comes a time when the drug ceases to act on you. And when the painful feelings come back, you begin to experience them more acutely than before, and even more so, now you perceive your partner as the cause of these feelings. This means that you proetsiruesh them outward and attack him with all the cruelty that has become part of your pain. This attack may awaken their own pain of your partner and he or she can give you a date. At this point, the ego still unconsciously hoping that its attack or its attempts to manipulate would be punishment enough for your partner, may prompt them to change their behavior so that it again could use them as cover for his pain.
Any attachment stems from the subconscious refusal to meet publicly with their own pain and go through it. Any attachment with the pain and the pain begins and ends. What would you have felt any affection - to alcohol, food, permitted or prohibited drugs, or a man - you use it is something and that someone else in order to cover up their pain. That is why after the initial euphoria is an intimate relationship, in which there is so much misery and so much pain. By themselves, these relationships are not the cause of pain and unhappiness. They dragged out the pain and the misery that is already in you. Similarly, the effect any other attachment. Any attachment inevitably comes to the point where it no longer has no effect on you, and then you feel his pain much more acutely than ever before.
This is one reason why most people avoid at all times now and try to find at least some salvation in the future. The first thing they might encounter, they will focus their attention on the present moment, would be their own pain, but this is exactly what they fear most. If they only knew how easy staying in the moment now, to gain access to the power of presence, which would dissolve the past with all its pain, as well as to the reality, which will dispel the illusion. If they only knew how they are close to their own reality as they are close to God.
Avoidance of relationships in order to avoid the pain - also not an option. The pain is in any case. Three failures in the relationship for the same years were more likely to push you to the awakening than three years on a desert island or three years he spent locked up. However, If you can make a rich presence in her loneliness, then for you it too will begin to work.
No comments:
Post a Comment