Monday, December 14, 2009

Love-Hate Relationship

As long as man lives neosozanno, any relationship, especially the intimate, will remain in a state of deep division and complete disorder. For some time they may seem ideal to you, such as when you visit "in love", but as the increased frequency of disputes and conflicts, as increasing feelings of dissatisfaction and the emergence of emotional and even physical violence, the destruction of this seeming perfection is inevitable. 

It so happens that used on most of the "love relationship" quickly turned into a relationship of "love-hate". Then love can change your image and turn to you the brutal attack, a feeling of hostility to you, or sudden and complete failure for you in love. And this is normal. Then for several months or several years, your relationship will be like to swing between love and hate, and wonder what more is you will - of pleasure or pain. There is nothing unusual in the fact that couples are bound to these cycles, as a harmful habit. Their drama makes them feel alive. When the balance between positive and negative polarities is lost and when the frequency and intensity of negative and destructive cycles increases, which tends to happen sooner or later, while the final break is not far away. 

It would seem that if one could eliminate the negative destructive cycles, then everything would have been able to establish good relations and would be - but, alas, is impossible. Polarity interrelated. One without the other does not happen. The positive already contains within itself and negative in its unmanifest form. Both, in essence, is the different aspects of the same disorder. I'm talking here about what is commonly called romantic relationships, not about true love, which has no opposite, since it goes from outside the mind. Love as a prolonged state still occurs very rare - as rare as conscious human beings. However, short-term and subtle flash of love possible and where in the unceasing work of the mind breaks occur. 

Of course, compared with positive, negative side of the relationship easier to recognize as bothersome. Just as significantly easier to see the source of the negative stuff in your partner than yourself. This can manifest itself in many forms: the desire to possess, in a sense of jealousy, a need to control, at a distance from the partner and the unspoken irritation at the need to be right in the inattention to the partner and care by myself in the emotional demands and manipulation, in provoking disputes, criticism, condemnation, anger or aggression, unconscious revenge for past pain that this has caused you more parents, rage and physical violence against you. 

On the positive side you are in a state of "love" to his partner. First of all, it is deeply beneficial state. You feel alive to the fullest. Your existence suddenly becomes relevant, because someone needs you, wants you and makes you feel special, and you, in turn, do the same to him or her. When you're together, you feel a whole. This feeling can become so strong that, in comparison with the rest of the world simply fades away in its insignificance. 

However, you may have noticed that in this case you have there is a need in the richness of feeling and desire to cling to it. Do you find yourself dependent on another person. He or she will act on you like a drug. When the drug is - you are at altitude, but even the likelihood, or the thought that he or she can no longer be with you, can cause a feeling of jealousy, the desire to possess, attempt to manipulate the use of emotional blackmail, can lead to recriminations and accusations that is, to the emergence of fear of loss. If the other person suddenly leaves you, it can awaken in you the sharpest sense of hostility, or grief and despair. Love-tenderness in the blink of an eye may turn out brutal attacks or uncontrollable grief. Where is the love? Can love instantly become its opposite? It was not here in the first place love, or it was just habit to touch and hold?

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